My name is Stephanie, and I am a mother in recovery. Getting sober was the easy part, dry out in detox, complete my program, get my certificate and carry on with life. Finding recovery and healing was the hard part – looking myself in the mirror and facing my circumstances, where I am, who I hurt, it wasn’t a pretty picture, but a very necessary step.
I always knew, somewhere in the back of my mind that my drinking was trying to fill a void, masking a need to be something more than I was. But unlike in my twenties, without the pretense of celebration and comradery to veil my alcohol abuse, I craved alcohol as a direct response to the need I felt to escape my situation. Joyless and secretive, I drank to disassociate; drinking became all about isolation and self-medication. Yet I still stubbornly maintained that I was in control of it and not the other way around. Until I wasn’t. I had exhausted the patience and forgiveness of everyone I held dear. I hadn’t realized how large and heavy the chip on my shoulder had become. When I finally faced my past trauma, with the help and patience of my counselor, the support and friendship of the brave mothers within Mother’s Recovery Society, I was able to begin the healing process, re-establish a relationship with my daughter and create a life I could never have imagined possible. There is no mission accomplished in recovery, only mission accepted, a mission I joyfully accept. Thank you for my recovery.